Escalations go to a team that does not read the ticket history

Staffing is planned on last year's volume

Complaints are counted only when someone uses the word complaint

New agents take live tickets after three days of training

Complaints about one feature spike after every release

Promotions promise things support has not been told about

Most complaints are about waiting, not about the answer

The best agents leave within a year

The phone line closes at five and the emails start at five past

Ticket categories were set up years ago and nothing fits them now

A customer who complains twice gets the same first reply both times

The chat bot deflects the easy questions and mangles the hard ones

Agents are measured on tickets closed per hour

Angry customers are moved to the back of the queue by the priority rules

The same question is answered a hundred times because the help page is wrong

There is no way to tell the product team what customers are asking for

Agents who take the time to fix a problem properly miss their numbers

Agents cannot issue a refund without a manager, and the manager is in meetings

Refund policy is different on the website, in the app and in the script

Templates make every reply sound like nobody read the message

Survey requests go out before the problem is solved

The knowledge base is written by people who have never taken a call

Billing changes are announced to customers after they hit the invoice

Nobody from product reads the ticket tags

Managers see the dashboard, agents see the queue, nobody sees the customer

Customers repeat their problem to every person they are passed to

Outages are not announced, so support finds out from customers